by Sarah Judith Cole, OBT, LMT
It seems we are always in the process of becoming, giving birth to who we are at this moment. In this process of birthing, becoming, is also the little deaths, the letting go of that which no longer serves us. This includes old relationships, old ways of acting, reacting, and interacting. What if we had some way of releasing the energy that we are still putting to that which is outdated. Actually there are many ways, one of them is "Cord cutting"
The process, the ceremony of "Cord Cutting" is based on the premise that when we enter into relationship with a person, or even business relationships, and contracts of all sorts, an energetic thread or cord is activated. As we move through life, often these relationships no longer are what we need or want them to be. "Cord Cutting" allows for the energetic thread that has been running to be cut. Relationships don't have to end, but this allows for new beginnings instead of being trapped in the past. Sometimes, we want relationships to end, such as when you are no longer in a relationship with a lover. Every time you enter into such a relationship, particularly one that leads to sexual involvement, an energetic thread is started. If the relationship continues, the thread gets stronger. Often, people can feel this, or have an intuitive sense of what is going on with their partner. This is due to the energetic connection. Even relationships that are ended, years later there still can be a tapping in. I will give you a for instance from my own life.
I left my husband in 1991, and our divorce became final in 1993. We parted amicably, and basically did not stay in contact. Late one evening in 1997, I was sitting in a restaurant, with a friend relaxing. Sort of out of the blue she said to me, "You know, you have never really talked much about your marriage, tell me about it". So, I did, but it felt odd, and I brought that up, as I had from time to time mentioned my marriage to her.
A couple of days later, my son, Matthew, called me, and told me that he had talked to my ex-husband. He said that my ex-husband had called him and asked him how I was doing, and stated that he never really understood why I left him. When I asked my son, when this was, it turned out that my husband had called him and was talking about us to my son at the very same time, my friend and I were in the restaurant talking about the marriage also. What this told me was that there was still come connection that had kept going, and I needed to end it.
Also as children of our parents, as we grow we wish to have more adult relationships with our parents. Cord cutting can help to break that old way of interacting with each other, of being seen as the child and parent and allow the relationship to evolve.
As parents and as our children grow we need to have different relationships with them, to stop seeing them as little and needing our help.
Business partnerships that are no longer valid, also have energetic streams connected with them, that need to be broken.
As you can see all these relationships carry an attachment, a stream of energy, and unfortunately it is often a stream that holds us down and saps our energy. From time to time, we all have experienced the various "energy vampires" and these definitely need to be broken. Also the times, when in order to help a friend through a trying situation, we have given, and or become caregivers. As that person moves through their situation we need to cut the cord, and allow for the growth of the relationship to enter into a new phase.
Even in happy marriages, from time to time we need to do this. Generally speaking, as we grow older and mature, we become more mentally healthy, as we give up old ideas, and expectations, and come into our own definitions of who we are. This is true in marriages as well. The needs and expectations differ, as we come to redefine our idea of marriage, and therefore, cutting cords, can allow for this growth and maturity. It is very important when relationships are ended that we cut the cord. This can even help us with the grieving process of letting go of someone, whether through death, or the ending of the relationship. With relationships that are ongoing, it creates the space for new levels of connection, and can add freshness to the relationship. Where there is discord, it can cut that discord, and allow for new perspectives. It can be particularly useful with co-workers who we have had problems with, and those who tend to "get under our skin" or push our buttons, and grate on our nerves. It can provide the space for us to detach and perhaps see what is really going on.
If you find yourself dreaming about someone, or about things in the past and not getting anywhere, doing a cord cutting ceremony can be useful. It can help stop the psychic negativity that may be coming your way from others. Remember thoughts are energy and like prayers, so the above may not be about someone who is negative, but may be well intentioned. This would include those who "worry" about you, or if you are on a trip, visioning something bad happen. These people are often well-intentioned but don't know how to express their love and concern in a more positive way. Cutting cords can help you not to receive their projections, and may help them to also evolve into perceiving you differently. Worrying about someone is not a measure of someone's love, but a measure of their ability to worry. It is a trap that mothers can often fall into, because we are taught to worry about our children--if we don't worry about them, we don't love them. But you know, generally speaking when your kids are in their 20's it is no longer necessary to have eyes in the back of your head, and be focused on what your children are doing all the time. It would be useful for all mothers, to do a cord cutting ceremony concerning their children, throughout their growth years with us. If we keep perceiving them as small and helpless, or not capable of making good decisions on their own, they will act that way. At some point, you really do have to let go. This includes the old dysfunctional patterns of interactng that society has taught us.
Over the years, I have read many ways of doing the "Cutting Cords" ceremony, most of them are a variation of each other. Below is the one I use.
Cord cutting requires a certain amount of energy and is not passive, therefore, it is best done when you are well rested, and relaxed. While being active, (as opposed to asking God to do this for you) it is also quite intentional, so being firm in your intent to let go is important. You don't have to enjoy letting go, you just have to be intent on letting go, knowing that this needs to happen for the good of all. Sometimes it is not easy letting go, and we want to hold on, but as Sting says in one of his songs, "If you Love someone set them free"
As an aside for healers, we are not here to allow others to suck off of us, and every once in a while we will come in contact with someone who wants to do just that. One of the things that a healer does is help hold the balance while someone is going through the process of a healing work. Part of our work as healers is to help in this, and then as soon as possible help the person to build their own resources of healing. That is one of the things I like about using essential oils and natural supplements. People can learn and become their own healers. So doing cord cutting can be real important for healers, to break attachments that our clients have formed with us. Even if the relationship continues, both healer and client need for the relationship to evolve.
It is best to do it at a time when you can be alone and are assured of not being interrupted. Have yourself in a prayerful meditative state and well grounded. Diffusing oils such as the blend Three Wise Men or Frankincense, or Sacred Mountain would be good. Other essential oils would be Spruce, Cedarwood, Sage, Lavender. Also applying oils would be good. I have found that using essential oils can make the process easier, and more complete. There are 3 oils that are real specific for every situation. They are Valor, (on the feet) Release (on the feet) Acceptance on the Liver. If you don't have these, you might use Lavender on the feet, Geranium on the feet, and Lemon on the liver. We process every emotion and particularly anger through the Liver, and often through the emotional heart as well. Some good oils for the heart area might be Into the Future, Hope, Joy, Rose, Lavender. Also Forgiveness is quite good on the navel area for relationships where there is "unfinished business" which almost all relationships have some. Melissa, Frankincense and Ravensara can be used here as well.
The energetic streams by which we are attached to others, can run throughout all of our energetic body. Your energetic body surrounds you and even goes into the earth as well as above your head. Cutting cords is a little like pulling weeds. Just as in pulling weeds, you have to get all the root out, this is true also with cutting cords. Another strong aspect of cutting cords is visualization, and also breathing, taking long full breaths, and strong exhalations, releasing as you exhale.
I have done a lot of cord cuttings myself, and have facilitated others doing it, as well as doing it in some of the workshops I have led. It is not uncommon to feel all sorts of emotions while doing this. It is important to not hold back on the emotions, as emotions hold and carry energy and allowing the emotions out is part of the process. When I have done this in workshops with others, energetically what it looks like to me is that the energy streams are like stalks, and often the emotions look like balls of energy or almost like flowers, which are being fed by the energy. If I tap in, in a very focused way, I can see the roots going down below the person, as well as above the person. Relationships that have had a lot of energy connected with them, (as opposed to relationships that are more casual or intellectual in nature), sometimes remind me of great big sunflowers, often sort of run amok. It is often like viewing something that is multi-screened. With energy piled upon energy. If you have ever felt when coming in contact with someone who seems that their energy is wild, this is part of it. People who often have a lot of emotional and energetic toxicity, their energy sometimes looks like a garden run amok with spikes streaming out. It is possible sometimes to separate out the different energetic streams, but often with families where there has been a lot of stress, it is amazing they will be all intertwined. It is not necessary to see this as you are doing it, and I don't always see it myself. I only tap in if the person seems to need help.
If you want music, that is fine, but it is best to save the music for afterwards, when you might just simply want to relax and enjoy the feeling of peace. If playing music before helps you to get into it, that is fine, but playing during, for some might be distracting.
You can change this according to fit your own particular spiritual beliefs. While standing, allow yourself to become centered and grounded, feeling your connection to the earth. (The earth is a sentient being as well as we are, and we actually live within the aura of the earth, and have a connection to the earth. This helps us to not be spacey. )
You might want to start by calling out loud upon God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, your spiritual guides, or saints, angels etc, to help you with this process. You can also ask to have your Higher Self as well. Allow yourself a few minutes to feel the energies you are calling upon, to feel your lower chakras being grounded in the earth and your top four chakras opening and receiving the sustaining assisting energies of those you have invited and asked for help. Archangel Michael has been particularly associated with Cord Cutting, and when you are ready Invite Archangel Michael to assist you in the process of cord cutting. The beings you have called on will be lending energy in this ceremony, but it is you who has to cut the cords. No one will do this for you, the beings will help in clearing the energy from your fields, but you must start the process. While continuing to stand hold your arms out and ask Archangel Michael if you can borrow his sword. Allow yourself to really experience taking this sword that for time beyond time has stood and fought darkness and cut through illusion. We may not realize it, but often we have illusions about relationships, and our own perceptions about who we think we are and who we think the other person is. Doing this work, will help you to cut through this, and begin to have a new outlook. Even if you are not able to feel anything trust that this process is happening. Begin to say out loud I now cut and release the cords of this relationship (say the name), and while you are saying this begin to move your arms as if you were holding a sword and cut all around you. You want to cut all around your body, remembering to cut above you and send intent, and or visualize the sword going below you to cut the roots of the relationship. If you can visualize you might also pull up the roots and pluck them out of your field while continuing to cut with the sword. You can see the energetic streams dissolving as cut and pull them from you. You may find as you do this that some bundles may be more concentrated in the navel, or heart area. Sexual relationships may be concentrated more in the lower chakras, while relationships that made your stomach churn maybe more in the solar plexus area. Relationships that seem to mentally tax you may be more in the top three chakras. Relationships that have been more joyful, generally are more diffused throughout the whole energetic field, they still need to be cut to allow for new growth. In some ways you are tending your energetic relationship garden, and things have to be cut to allow for energy for new growth. Continue to say the name of the person whom you are cutting cords as you do this. When you feel you are finished with that person/relationship/ pause and let yourself feel it, and scan, get your sense of whether or not you think you are done with this particular relationship, then go on to others. It is best not to overtire yourself and only do a few relationships in one cord cutting ceremony. Start with the ones that are most foreground for you, of the ones that seem to occupy your mind and heart the most. This could be someone from your past. Those who have experienced abuse, who have been attacked, raped, mugged, etc, start with that one first, even if you don't know the name, say "the person who stole my purse and knocked me down, and give the date). For some, you may also need to say goodbye, I release and let you go. (remember to say their name or give explanation of the relationship)
When you feel you have done enough for this session, pause and breathe for a minute or so, and ask for the Violet Light, the Golden Light, The Highest Divine Light, the Light of God, or the Holy Spirit, (all or whatever works for you) to move around you, through you, above and below you, filling each aspect of yourself with the Highest Light and Love. Allow your heart to really open and feel your connection to yourself and the Divine. In doing this ceremony you have created a void, by calling in the Divine and more of your higher Self, you bring in what you need to go forth and have the relationships you want to have.
While you are bringing in and receiving the Highest Light and more of your Higher Self, you can begin to allow yourself to fill up with gratitude and start thanking those who have helped you in this ceremony.
If possible, now is a good time for you to simply relax, and rest. You might even want to take a nap. You might even want to mist your aura, with a blend like Joy, or Harmony, or even Lavender, Spruce, Sage. You may feel hungry, or drained, or simply peaceful. Even though you have done the ceremony, the work is still going on, as the work ripples outwards and the energy streams are dissolved as they go back to the time, person and relationship.
You want to also clear out the area where you have done the work. You can once again ask those you have called on to help you in this. You can also call in the streams of energy such as the violet light and the Golden White Light. This would be a good time to also diffuse Sage, as well as Lavender, Purification.
With relationships that are ongoing, such as with children and spouses, bosses, parents, you might want to do this a couple of times a year. You may find also with old relationships, that something new about them as come up for you, that represents another aspect and or energy stream that you weren't aware of before that also needs to clear out. Generally speaking, I don't recommend doing a Cutting Cords ceremony more than once a month. We need time to process, assimilate the work we have done. Cutting Cords is a cleansing and clearing ceremony. Respect the work you have done, honor yourself, and the work, and allow time for yourself to have new perspectives.